Three pairs of winter boots are laying before me on the ground.
Every pair of shoes is tempting me: my trendy ankle boots, my classic black boots and my beloved vintage riding boots. Practically, I know that I only need one pair… but how do you decide which one to keep and which one to discard?
Perhaps I should keep them all…
I was like this a decade ago. It was a decade ago that I was just starting minimalism. I knew I would live a better life if I had less stuff. But I struggled to decide what I should keep and what I should let go.
My clutter-free efforts were slow, painful, and often failed. All the decisions overwhelmed me and I didn’t know how I would handle them.
Based on the many emails I receive from readers, I know that I’m not the only one feeling this way. The question that I get asked the most is “How do you decide what to keep?”
Today I will answer that question by sharing my knowledge about decision-making. This goes beyond decluttering. Here are some tips to help you make difficult decisions, from your closet to your career.
To keep or not to keep?
The most difficult part of the minimalist lifestyle, is knowing when to let go and what to keep. It is worth it to learn how to make intelligent, deliberate decisions.
Step 1: Take a moment to reflect and then create space.
When faced with difficult decisions, the first and most important thing you can do is to stop and take a step back. This is important because it’s easy for us to lose sight of the bigger picture when faced with difficult decisions (about any topic, not just clutter).
One example is when I was decluttering, I struggled with:
- regret spending money ( , ahem… like $200 on a dress that I have never worn!)
- Self acceptance (Believing that I am beautiful for who I am, and not my large shoe collection).
- External obligations (feeling obligated to do or keep certain things, because I don’t want anyone to be disappointed)
- Deep emotions can cause me to be overwhelmed by strong memories and cloud my judgment.
These emotions can make it difficult for you to think rationally, and can lead to difficult decisions. It should not be difficult to clear out your junk drawer or declutter your closet .
It is possible to take a step back and see the bigger picture by taking the time to pause and reflect on the situation. We can understand the reasons why our lives are cluttered and become empowered to change it.
Step 2: Define boundaries
When it comes to the big picture, I have found that boundaries can be used to guide my decisions.
Let’s take a look at my closet as an example. My closet was the first thing that challenged me when I tried minimalism. My entire second bedroom was used to store my large collection of handbags, shoes, and clothes.
It seemed impossible to declutter my closet. I tried several times and failed…until I changed my approach.
Instead of making random decisions, I decided to take a step back and choose what I wanted for my wardrobe. For inspiration, I looked at the clothes I loved most and took note of patterns. I loved neutral colors, but I prefer a slimmer silhouette. I also preferred pieces that were easy to maintain.
This information helped me to decide before time which things I would like to get rid of, such as:
- Flared jeans and maxi skirts
- Anything delicate or dry-clean (I don’t know how to take care of my clothes).
- Bright colours are more me than neutrals.
This means that I had a vision of my wardrobe, and I used it to set boundaries. This took stress out of making decisions and helped to reduce decision fatigue, which is the feeling of being overwhelmed by too many options. ).
This simple system can be used in many areas of your daily life.
- When you are decluttering your bedroom decide what purpose it serves and then determine what belongs.
- When you are decluttering your calendar, ask yourself what you want to accomplish and then determine your priorities.
- Consider changing your career path. First, ask why do you work there and what you are looking for. Then, define your search criteria.
Having a clear vision can help you make better decisions.
If you would like to know more about my decluttering approach, you can download Mindful Decluttering below. You will learn step-by-step how I decluttered my house and life. It also contains practical advice, personal stories, as well as a troubleshooting guide that will help you conquer your cluttering problems.
Step 3: Recognize and address your fears
Even if you have a clear picture and boundaries in place, it might be difficult to make clutter-free decisions. This is often due to a fear that must be addressed and acknowledged.
This fear is usually expressed as the fear of “making the wrong decision”, but we can often get more specific if we dig deeper.
- My black jacket is too heavy for me to throw away. I may need it to make an outfit.
- Because I may have guests over, I am afraid to throw away my extra dinner plates.
- I am afraid of quitting my job, as it could mean that I won’t be able to get another one.
Recognizing your fear, from the small to the major, will allow you to make better decisions. You can now identify what is holding you back and how to address it.
- The worst-case scenario is the best.
- This is the ideal scenario.
- This will determine the likelihood of each scenario occurring.
This information will help us face our fears and make decisions. Recognizing that the worst scenario could be you borrowing a table set from your neighbor might help you see the bigger picture and allow you to make a decision.
Step 4: Recognize that there’s no right or wrong answer.
Sometimes, we have to face difficult decisions and accept that there is no clear right or wrong answer. It’s possible to not predict how many saucepans will be needed in the future. You may also not know if you’ll miss your high school yearbooks or if two sets are sufficient.
This is not a negative thing. It’s an incredible opportunity. We are given the chance to reinvent ourselves when there is no “best” decision.
In her Ted Talk, Ruth Chang, a philosopher, tells us:
When we create reasons for ourselves to become this kind of person rather than that, we wholeheartedly become the people that we are. You might say that we become the authors of our own lives.
This means that we can choose who we want to be when we declutter (or make any difficult decisions). Instead of worrying about which boots to keep, you can choose to be someone who will wear any shoe on her way to exciting new adventures.
More decluttering tips and advice
As you have probably noticed, decluttering is more than just having less stuff. It’s the key to a new way for thinking and living. You can be intentional about what you have and you will also become intentional about what you do . This changes everything.
