Decluttering sounds so simple in theory. You only need to decide what brings joy and let go of all the rest. Easy, right?
The reality is more complex for most people. Instead of making quick decisions about which things to keep, we spend hours agonizing. It’s easy for us to feel defeated and slow progress.
It happens eventually that stuff gets pushed back into our closets and under the beds, out of sight, out of mind. It can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have a to be. These six tips will help you clear clutter no matter what your situation.
What makes Decluttering Stressful
It is important to understand why we feel stressed before we can talk about stress-free clutter removal. Do we feel stressed because of clutter?
It’s not. Not exactly.
Stress and overwhelm can occur if your expectations are too high (e.g. you try to do too much with not enough time), or if you approach decluttering without a clear strategy.
It’s almost like being asked to prepare a five-course meal in an hour using ingredients you don’t know and without a recipe. It’s too much for even a star chef to handle.
It’s the same with decluttering. I know this sounds obvious but I’ve seen enough women make it a mistake. It seems easy to declutter so we set out with guns blazing and the confidence that we’ll finish the task before the weekend ends.
We end up in a mess and end up with haphazard piles more than we started. We are in an over our heads and wonder where the problem went.
This may sound like a negative thing, but it is actually very positive. We can transform the experience by understanding why cluttering up is so stressful. We can reduce stress and declutter with ease if we increase our ability to deal with it.
How can you declutter without stress?
1. Slow decluttering is a good idea
Let go of the notion that you must declutter your home quickly. Some people can declutter their entire house in a weekend. This is an exception to the rule.
You might be among the fortunate ones if you are new to decluttering. What if you aren’t? What if you set too high a bar and fail to meet it?
My guess is that it’s something like this:
I’m such an idiot…
I can’t believe it!
I am ready to give up.
It’s not fun, is it? You can bet your mind will recall. You’ll feel resistance the next time you try to clear clutter. You are just digging yourself another hole. If nothing changes, it will only get more difficult each time.
You can also choose to slow down decluttering. Recognize that you took a while to accumulate clutter and that it may take some time before it is all gone. You can set realistic expectations and take it one step at a time. Then, congratulate yourself for sticking to your plans.
It’s difficult to take things slowly. Trust me, that is my weakness. But, the way I see it, there are two options. You can either be deliberate about taking your time and feeling good about it or you can set impossible goals and deal the fallout.
You can only do what you can. It all comes down to how much stress and frustration your life allows.
2. Recognize the emotional side to letting go
There are many blogs and books on decluttering. Of course, I haven’t read all of them! However, I have seen a lot of similar advice.
- It’s all just a matter of fact!
- Do not collect things, but moments.
- Your memories are not in your stuff.
Do any of these sound familiar?
You might wonder if it is so difficult to let go of this “stuff”?
Wrong. I was wrong. After many years of beating myself up, and wondering what the hell was wrong with my life, I finally learned a powerful lesson.
Your stuff is more than just “stuff”. The things we have are often the physical manifestations of our hopes, fears, insecurities, or dreams.
This is how decluttering can be seen as soul work. It is necessary to confront our fears and grieve our losses. It’s hard because it is hard. That’s okay.
If you have a strong attachment, it doesn’t mean that you are broken or inferior. Don’t stress about the difficulties of decluttering. Instead, be compassionate and curious. Find the root cause of clutter and let go.
3. Systems that stop clutter are created
What is really stressful? It’s not worth putting in the effort to reach something you don’t feel is possible.
Many people feel that way when they declutter: one thing gets rid and two things get in its place.
This can be enough to make your hair stand on end. But, you can change things with this simple tip. Take a second to think about this question next time you clean out your house or organize your life.
What boundaries or systems could I use to prevent this from affecting my future?
If you are decluttering a dress you have never worn, ask yourself: “Why don’t I wear this?” The hemline The color?
You can use what you have learned to make decisions about your future. I do not buy yellow, polyester or dry clean products.
These items will always end-up in the decluttering pile. I have established a clear boundary to prevent me from repeating these mistakes in the future.
My home is less cluttered, so my decluttering makes a greater impact. My work is smarter and not more difficult, which I consider a win-win!
4. Avoid perfectionism
When minimalism and decluttering first became my obsession, I thought, “I’m okay with having less stuff. I just want the best stuff.”
Of course, quality is more important than quantity. This is a slippery slope and can lead to perfectionism.
Because I’ve been there, I know. It was difficult to declutter in the beginning because I couldn’t achieve the “Pinterest worthy” home I envisioned, no matter how hard I tried.
Ironically, I felt the need to purchase more… even though I was trying to be minimalist. This is absurd and only made my stress worse.
I realized that I am a human being and not an IKEA catalog. I cleared the clutter but not the life in my home (real life will always be imperfect).
5. Make a plan
Many people declutter on a whim. Perhaps you saw Marie Kondo’s Tidying up and felt inspired. Perhaps you were inspired by Marie Kondo’s em>Tidying Up/em> and decided to declutter your home after an hour spent searching for the missing shoe.
The outcome of any spark is almost always the same. You get carried away, regret starting, and end up feeling unnecessarily stressed.
This can be avoided by creating a simple plan to declutter your home. These are some ideas to keep in mind:
- Be deliberate about where to begin decluttering (this is a great list!)
- Decent what you will do with the things you get rid of (will it be donated, sold, recycled, etc.).
- Consider your goals. If it’s a large project, how does “done?” look for you today?
- In reality, how much time are you willing to spend?
It doesn’t need to be difficult. It’s easy to spend a few moments thinking about what you want and how you will achieve it before you even start.
6. Concentrate on the things you are creating
People hate to give up things. Psychological studies show that the pain of losing something is twice as intense as the joy of gaining equivalent gains. This theory is called loss aversion and it helps explain why clutter removal can be stressful or even painful.
This is normal. However, I have found that a simple reframe of the process can make a huge difference in my decluttering experience. Stop focusing on the things you are losing and instead focus on the life you are creating through decluttering.
Be specific: Why are you decluttering and how will it improve your life? Here are some benefits to decluttering that you might not have considered. It will be easier to implement your plans if you have a clear vision of the future.
Decluttering For Less Stress
It’s not easy. But the key is to just get started. There is evidence that clutter can decrease stress by decreasing stress hormone cortisol and improving focus and increasing self confidence and self-esteem .
This means that the more you do, it will get easier. Let go of any expectations or pressures that you feel to do the job perfectly or quickly.
Instead, put your foot forward and let the process take its course. It can be difficult to declutter, but it is possible if we are compassionate and kind to ourselves.
