Personal boundaries protect our time, energy, and space. It’s usually a boundary we place between ourselves and others. However, I find it useful to establish boundaries for myself.

This blog post will discuss four types of personal boundaries I have established in my life (physically, mentally, and financially), their importance, and how to set your own.

What are personal boundaries?

Personal boundaries are the limits that allow us to honor our values and prioritizes. They’re perhaps more important than ever.

Slowly, but surely, expectations are increasing. It’s almost as if we feel the need to do more, have more, own more, and buy more. The things that really matter are often lost as we try to keep our heads above the water.

A way to cut out the noise is to have strong personal boundaries. We are not being selfish, difficult, or unkind when we make conscious decisions about our time, money and relationships.

We are simply drawing a line on the sand and deciding what is important, and then taking steps to align ourselves with our values.

4 Types Of Personal Boundaries and Why They Matter

There are many ways to classify personal boundaries. Although the following list is not exhaustive, it is my personal favorite.

These four boundaries have had a profound impact on my life. I hope they will inspire you to be curious and try new things.

Boundaries Physical

Physical boundaries are those that limit our ability to move in space and within our environment. Sometimes, they can be very personal. You might tell someone, for example, that you prefer to shake hands rather than hugging them when you say hello.

These boundaries are not negotiable. However, I have never had to enforce them. I hope that you can find the support you need if this is not the case.

However, I want to emphasize that physical boundaries can be set in other ways as well. Here are some examples:

  • Limits on the number of things we own – This could mean making an intentional decision about how many towels you want to keep and how small toys will fit in your playroom.
  • There are limits to the types of things that we can own. You might not want to buy single-use plastics or fast fashion if this aligns with your values
  • There are limits on what people can bring to your home. You might ask them not to smoke or bring in unhealthy snacks for your children.

These are only a few examples. To be clear, I am not here to judge your boundaries. It is important to think about the most important things in your life and ask yourself, “How can I protect my space and my environment?”

Mental Boundaries

It can be difficult to understand mental boundaries because we don’t always know when it has crossed. However, we all feel it. You feel a tightening of the chest and overwhelming thoughts that you can’t shake.

Sometimes, tough feelings can be healthy and necessary. As with all things, there are limits. Your emotional energy and mental strength should be used for important things and not unnecessary drama.

If, for example, reading certain magazines or browsing social networks sends you into a spiral o insecurity and self-doubt then you might need to limit the media you consume .

Similar to the previous point, if a friend is constantly talking about diets and weight loss, it might be a good idea to ask them to stop.

These are my personal examples of how I set boundaries for myself.

  • I need someone to review my blog comments. I am open to different opinions but not personal attacks or threats of violence! You don’t cross the line. It was a great relief to have inappropriate comments removed before I had to see them.
  • I do not watch war movies, and I ask my friends to stop watching them. My loved one was killed while serving in a combat zone. These films are very disturbing.
  • I use rules for filtering my inbox. While this might not seem like a mental boundary, using automation to organise emails gives me more control over when and if to respond. This takes the pressure off my head.

Start paying attention to your emotions if you aren’t sure where you should be mentally. Ask yourself if you are wasting your mental energy and time on something that is mentally draining. What can you do to avoid this from happening again?

Time Boundaries

Time limits are restrictions on how you spend your time. This is the one I find most difficult to enforce. This is due to several reasons:

  • People-pleasing – We say “yes” to helping others even though we are already stretched beyond our limits.
  • The planning fallacy This cognitive bias leads to an underestimating of the time it will take to complete a task. We have a natural tendency of eating more than we can chew.
  • Busyness Culture – It’s easy to mix productivity and self-worth. There is both internal and external pressure to do more.

What can we do then? You need to set boundaries. This could look like saying “no” more often or, if it’s uncomfortable, at least reducing our time for others.

It’s not easy to understand that this can feel uncomfortable for many people. But, remember that just because you set boundaries, it doesn’t mean that you won’t help. It’s about setting boundaries and deciding beforehand how you can help in a way that is consistent with your values, priorities, and strengths.

You might say no to spending an afternoon househunting with your friend, but then you spend an hour online looking for options because you are a great researcher. When it makes sense, you can save your time and still provide value.

These are some of the simple ways I can set time limits in my life.

  • Requests – If the request is not urgent (according my priorities), I reply. Then, I give myself a reasonable time frame to act. I’ll be able to take action next week.
  • Phone use I don’t always do the right thing, but I try to keep a clear line of sight by not sleeping near my phone. It is charged across the room so that I am not tempted to check it in the morning.
  • Time blocks I have rules about what I will and won’t do. I don’t clean the house when my children are sleeping. This decision was made early and allows me to relax without feeling guilty about the housework.

Financial Boundaries

Financial boundaries could include setting a budget, delaying purchases, or deciding not buy certain items. Here are some examples.

  • A savings account you keep in reserve for emergency situations
  • Limiting the amount you spend on Christmas gifts (or not exchanging gifts)
  • You should create a budget to fund charitable donations, and make deliberate decisions about which causes you support.
  • Encourage friends to take part in free activities, instead of paying for them

I have found that avoiding impulse buys has been the best financial decision for me as a shopaholic who has become a minimalist. Instead, I have a “want-to-buy” list that I wait at least 24hrs before I buy anything more than $20.

How to set personal boundaries

In most cases, it is best to start small. Find an area in your life that needs stronger boundaries, and then take small steps towards a new direction. Begin by saving $5 per week, getting to bed 15 minutes earlier, and having one difficult conversation.

Although it may not seem like much, I believe it is more important to set small boundaries and keep them than to have big boundaries that are not followed through. It is important to show others and yourself that you respect your boundaries.

If you are in a hazardous or toxic situation, this is an exception. You may need to be bold and take risks in order to protect your health.

It doesn’t matter what, it is important to be consistent with your boundaries and to constantly reevaluate them. Your boundaries should be adjusted to meet our changing priorities and needs.